Comments on: About Me

By: LaLa

LaLa — Fri, 22 Sep 2023 16:56:35 +0000

Hi Emily I’ also have lost my son to suicide he was 19 years young .
and. The pain is more and more as time pases
Now I look back and I don’t know how I survived this loss I was numb for a long time I still feel like that in a way it has changed me for sure it’s like you are not your self it doesn’t feel good to be part of this club but we all know the painful it is God bless you all.

LaLa

By: Heather Rumsey

Heather Rumsey — Thu, 07 Oct 2021 07:19:00 +0000

My name is Heather, I came home from picking daughter up from work, to find my son, my 26 year old, healthy, beautiful son, somehow non responsive on his bed. My spouse attempted CPR and when the ambulance arrived they rushed my son to the nearest hospital. I followed the ambulance praying, screaming to God this cannot be, please please let my Johnny live, please keep his soul but please let them revive him and all be well..I ran into the emergency room where the quickly shuffled me to the “family” room….few moments later in comes a pastor..I asked a lot of questions to which he had zero answer. Finally, at around 8 pm, I was coldly informed that my son died at 7:56 pm ..I was frantic…I demanded to see my baby..no one answered any of my questions which totally took me aback and still sends anxiety shooting throughout my core. I went right away, to see my son…I immediately started to cry and hug him snd begged him to wake up..I lay next to his body, held his hands, kisses his head, took as many pictures as possible..I was..am..completely shocked, completely devastated and was finding difficulty letting go in any sense of the word and situation. My baby died, 9/7/21, today it is 2AM of 10/7/21…this evening will mark ONE MONTH of his death..I am only now, begging to realize the finality..I’ve already had several, unsympathetic people tell me things like, “it’s just life” or, “we all bury our loved ones so get over it” ….my own mother has been oddly, not there at all for me..I am devastated that my baby’s life was suddenly cut short, I am angry that I have to have the mindset that most people do not care, do not expect them to and I’m learning to stay kind and centered despite these people but it is hard when all I want to do is crawl in his bed and stay as near to him as possible. I don’t want to live right now. I don’t want to care about anything other than my son, my thoughts, my prayers and I want to heal naturally….MY SON IS DEAD!!! I would not wish this pain on anyone. A parent should never have to bury their child, regardless age. Not knowing cause of death is causing more anxiety, as if knowing how he died will help me in any way..more I could haves, should haves, what if’s, to beat myself over…The sadness permeates my core and I try pray for God’s help but so angry too.. So, I lay here, waiting, praying and looking at all videos and pictures of him I can find and I tell myself to take this time to fully grieve so as not to be crazier later in life..today, I’m devastated, not without hope and thankfully God is understanding and forgiving so I keep praying..all I can do…I can see how parents might want to take own life..something as strong as the bond between parent snd child is indescribable. Go slow, feel it SLL..do not listen to anyone telling you to stop thinking about your child or stop mourning..you ignore the obnoxious people and you do what is best for you

By: Susan Sharrow

Susan Sharrow — Fri, 30 Jul 2021 01:14:59 +0000

I lost my son on May 12 2021. He had colon cancer and I was there for the surgeries and to care for him. But the 1 thing he needed I couldn’t give him. Healing. I prayed like I’s never prayed before! I watched him suffer in pain day and night, the reactions to the chemo, losing 4-6 lbs a week till he was skin and bones, previously 220 lbs. Never drank, quit smoking 30 years ago, he would have been 51 on July 16, the day we spread his ashes over a reef in the Florida Keys as he requested. I watch for signs he’s still here but haven’t seen any. I watch the Moon come up as we used to do together even when he was 300 miles away. He was good. Kind, and would do anything for anyone. I miss him terribly.

By: tonya

tonya — Sat, 08 May 2021 05:07:49 +0000

In reply to Charles R. Hi Charles, I am so sorry for your loss!! You know if you never been through anything, then you don't know anything. But I know exactly how you feel and everyone on this site because I been through it. I lost my son on 05/01/2020 due to a car accident and I am still going to court. I still cry everyday because just like you, Ryan was my best friend, we was so close and Ryan was a great person. and your name was my son's initials. Charles Ryan Waggie. He served in the Coast Guard. But don't ever feel failure as a parent because people have choices just like we had choices as children. We can raise them and lead to the right path but it is their choice of what they are going to do. I will Pray for you and your family But please don't be don't beat yourself up. You are are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

By: Linda Miller

Linda Miller — Sat, 01 May 2021 07:23:58 +0000

I lost my daughter July 4th 2019. She was married with 3 children. She died from a blood clot. We were an hour away when the ambulance picked her up. We we minutes away from the hospital when we got the news she was gone.
A part of me died with my daughter. We were able to see her. I begged God to let me take her place. I prayed for her to just open her eyes. After that I was just numb. I don’t know how I went on.
I know she is in heaven. I thank God . But I can not get over my anger. Why did he take her. I would of given my life freely to save hers.
They say it takes time to heal. I’m sorry but it’s almost been 2 years. There is no healing. I just have to face another day without my daughter.
I am sorry if this is negative. But I am still waiting for anything to be positive about losing my daughter.

By: Aleta Prince

Aleta Prince — Sun, 25 Apr 2021 01:33:09 +0000

November 13,2020 I lost my middle son Skyler.He had just turned 27 & for months i been looking for something not sure of what until i read your story and in my head i have a million things to say about my beautiful son that was taken from me but I cant find the words if that makes sense. I dont know what to do I am so angry & no one understands & think I am wrong for the way i feel and anything thing I say or do is wrong. Telling me to think about others feelings about my sons death and it just makes it worse for me so I dont tell anyone how I’m feeling or how I’m doing when they ask because to be honest I now live in this forever hell. I’m broken & it hurts so bad my heart shattered in a million pieces the night I lost my son. All i feel is anger. I have not grieved my son . I just sit in my thoughts alone & pretend I’m okay. But Im struggling…

By: Sherry

Sherry — Mon, 01 Mar 2021 20:45:51 +0000

Thank you – I hear so much of myself in many of these replies. I lost my incredible 24 year old son 4 days before Thanksgiving last year in a car accident. I need to keep going because his younger brother (by 2 years) lost not only his brother, but his best friend. I always found comfort in music, was the goofy mom who was always bouncing around and singing (I have the worst singing voice ever!) . Now I prefer silence, listening to my son’s favorite songs makes me cry, just about everything makes me cry these days. The worst thing is, I haven’t seen any signs from him, and we were both into that type of thing. Some days I feel like his life was all a dream. I miss him so much!

By: Charles R

Charles R — Wed, 24 Feb 2021 22:27:42 +0000

Thank you for this blog. Not much helps me, but I guess that misery does love company, and I am miserable. My beautiful 40 year old son accidentally overdosed on opiates 5 days after getting out of rehab in June 2020. He was my son, my friend, and a good person with so much to offer the world. Nothing has helped the feelings of failure as a parent, guilt and second-guessing that I have, but reading your blog gives me hope that some day I will somehow feel less worthless than I have felt since I lost him.

By: Tonya

Tonya — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 06:11:12 +0000

In reply to Jeannette. Hi, I’m soo sorry for your loss, I understand because I just lost my son in May 2020. He was 23. I just want to say to please don’t ask where was God. We All have choices in life and God was right there because His word says He will Never leave us or Forsake us! And We have to continue to pray because that is our lifeline and phone to God. Please don’t be angry with God. I have never questioned God of why my son is gone because that’s not my place to do that. God understands Our pain. What we need to do is celebrate our children’s lives and Thank God for the years we got to spend with them because our children are only lent to us. They are not ours. They are Gods children. I understand your feelings because I lost my son just year.

By: Tonya

Tonya — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 05:39:44 +0000

In reply to Emily Graham. I just lost my son in May 2020. He was stationed in Fort Lauderdale Florida. He was 23 and he died in a car accident. We was so close. I just talked to him the night before and told him I cover him in the Blood of Jesus and I loved him. I don’t know why I said that but I did. His name was Charles Ryan Waggie. He was in the coast guard and an amazing person!! I understand your loss because I feel it every day and it’s hard. We have to live the life they would want us to live!!