Everyone Arguing Over What’s Harder 2 or 3 Kids…They Are All Wrong!

As the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge welcome their third child, my news feed erupts in royal baby fever. A new heir to the throne. Royal traditions requiring mothers to push a baby from their body then stand in front of the world immediately after as if nothing happened. Quickly the conversation turns to their transition to raising three children. … Read More

When Did Grief Become All About Searching for Rainbows and Butterflies?

grief

After my son died, I began to search for child loss blogs to read. Shattered beyond repair, I needed to know I wasn’t alone in the overwhelming things I thought and felt. Everything I found was related to miscarriage and baby loss. While it was nice to know I wasn’t alone, the words didn’t necessarily resonate for me. My son … Read More

New Normal Has New Rules

Society has always been in the driver seat when it came to making decisions in my life. Growing up you don’t cry, whine, and misbehave. After all, it’s not acceptable behavior. You go to school and get good grades. College is next on the list, and you must choose something sensible to study. Living on my own should have been … Read More

A Fever Is Not Just A Fever When You Lose A Child

Caring for sick kids is par for the course when you’re a parent. Until you’ve lost a child. Where calm and logic once prevailed, crazy creeps in. I’m never sure people understand when I say I am different. Reactions, thoughts, perceptions all shift. Like how we handle sick kids. A fever is not just a fever. It’s the beginning of … Read More

When Others Remember – Grief At The Holidays

It is no secret the holidays are harder after the loss of a loved one, especially a child. The hole left by their absence gapes wide open. Traditions can feel heavy. A holiday that once brought excitement and joy, feels like a chore to trudge through. This is a special time of year for family and friends to draw close. … Read More

In Child Loss Every Step Counts

Child Loss Blog

When I began sharing our story of child loss, I had a dream. A vision that one day I would help other grieving parents share their stories. That I would help provide a platform, and this blog would become more than just my voice. It is only fitting that my first guest post be featured on October 15th, the day … Read More

I Just Can’t, But Today I Did. It Was Hard.

It’s the day before what should be Cameron’s 9th birthday. I’m balancing on the edge. Part of me wants to cry and just crawl in bed until it is all over with. The other part of me wants to force normal, “before” normal, and plan a day of his favorite activities. I already know this birthday will be a mix … Read More

Please Don’t Tell Me How Fast It Goes

childhood goes fast

We stood in line at Home Depot. Our cart, weighed down with plants that would finally fill one of our empty flower beds. Our latest project. My daughter, chatting away admiring the bright pink flowers balanced on the bottom. The flowers she believes she picked out, but the reality is I guided her in that decision with my secret “get what I want” mom … Read More

Back To School Makes Me Nauseous

I turn the corner and realize we are walking right through the boys clothing section. My stomach turns. I reach out and run my finger over a folded t-shirt as we pass. Nearby a mom is holding up two pair of shorts for her son. That should be me. My eyes scan the familiar area as the weight of my … Read More

The Line Blurs Between Before And After

child loss

When your child dies, there is this new line of measurement in life. Everything was either before or after. The idea is very black and white. It either is or it isn’t. As time passes complexity creeps in. Maybe it’s grief brain, maybe it’s just me getting old, but that line blurs. We tell stories and reference moments of our … Read More