We lost our 17 year old son on Christmas Eve 2017 after he was knocked off his bike the night before and we haven’t celebrated Christmas since. In fact we haven’t even acknowledged it’s existence which is so hard as it goes on for so long and is everywhere. I feel so bad for my daughter who had just celebrated her 20th birthday a couple of weeks earlier which has also become an event we don’t really celebrate either as we are so focused on what is coming up. This fills me with immense guilt and sadness as we always loved Christmas and birthdays and now nothing. The following year my daughter volunteered at a homeless shelter and again in 2019 and then last year she delivered lunches to elderly people who had no visitors because of Covid. I’m so proud of the way she is working through her grief while I can hardly get out of bed at this time of year. I’m too hoping that one year we will celebrate again and remember the wonderful family times we had. It sucks losing a child and it sucks hating a whole month because of the pain it brings as it is the last month your child was alive and the month you lost them in. I kind of feel that way about 2017 in general.

Writing became a great outlet for me, as I’m sure you are seeing with yours. The waves of grief do continue to come, even after you pass the firsts…even when you think “I’ve done this before I should be OK now”. It’s not always predictable, but we find ways to cope don’t we. Sending you lots of love.

Hello and thank you, Sherry.

Thank you, Becki!