Comments on: 6 Things I’ve Learned About Sibling Grief

By: theresa

theresa — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 17:14:59 +0000

IT struck me hard when I was called “the Lone Ranger”. I lost both of my siblings within a year and a half and very shortly after my cancer diagnosis. I still think about tings that I wish we had talked about but Boys don’t like to talk about stuff. Granted I am older than most of this topic addresses but it is still a perspective.

By: Paola

Paola — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 05:26:45 +0000

I’m amazed I have never related to anything this so much my older brother, took he’s own life at the age of 24 when I was 12, death was a very hard concept for me to understand at the time it still is till this day

By: G

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 12:13:51 +0000

Thank you for your insight.. it puts many of my feelings into words that I couldn’t form myself. I lost my 21 year old sister 6 months ago to a drunk driver who hit her head on as she was on her way home from work three days before Christmas. I am now an only child on this Earth. My family was always very close, and now everything seems to be upside down. But your words help me to better understand what I’m feeling inside and why. There is still a lot more to sift through deep down, but I appreciate what you’ve written.

By: Emily Graham

Emily Graham — Wed, 03 Jul 2019 20:29:50 +0000

In reply to Jordan. Thanks for sharing your story! Sending lots of love your way.

By: Jordan

Jordan — Wed, 19 Jun 2019 02:51:57 +0000

Thank you for writing this. My sister died ten years ago on Christmas day when she was 16 from severe complications to an open heart surgery (we too were told on Christmas that she was brain dead). I was 14 years old at the time and she was my only sibling. Still to this day I hate the question of how many siblings I have. I have finally become comfortable with my answer, that I have one sister, but the follow up small talk questions that ask for further clarification such as is she older, what does she study/do, etc. are most difficult. Grief is lifelong, with time it is not always as prominent in the everyday but there are still days that it brings me to my knees. Each milestone is clouded in a way knowing my sister should have hit them first and wishing she was there too. Just last month I graduated grad school and just wished that she was in the crowd too as my friend’s siblings were. Number 4 is very true; all but two condolence cards were addressed to my parents following her death. Those two cards addressed just to me, tucked away in my room, were brought out whenever I needed some acknowledgment of my grief. What has helped with my grief the most over the years has been being around and talking with others who have experienced sibling grief as well. I volunteer at a camp for grieving children and 90% of the counselors have also experienced grief so it is a very special place that is both beneficial for the campers and counselors alike getting to meet and talk with peers that understand what they are going through. Thank you for writing this about sibling grief as there is far too little out there on the topic. Thank you for giving us a voice.

By: Scott

Scott — Sun, 09 Jun 2019 01:10:16 +0000

I lost my only brother 4 months ago. He was 31, unmarried, and has a 5.5 year old son who is his spitting image. I’ve always been involved with his son, who looks to me as a father-figure. He has asked me if I can be his Dad. I tried holding back tears at first, just to shield him as I’m protective in nature. I miss my brother more everyday, and being at milestones for his son is gut-wrenching. I bought his first baseball glove today, for instance. I live in a town away from my family and many friends. I worry like crazy about my parents. Most people in my town know, but only a few have engaged me. I’m always asked how my parents are. I try and keep busy, and connected to others to feel normalcy. The mornings, drives alone, and late night struggles to sleep wear on me. Other things in my life are going very well, but I don’t care about my own personal successes. Rather, I feel obligated to be the “glue” that others say I need to be. It’s exhausting, rewarding with my nephew, and brutal; daily. A true roller coaster of emotions.

By: Christina

Christina — Wed, 19 Dec 2018 05:46:36 +0000

I can attest that sibling grief doesn’t go away the older you get, though I feel that nearly everyone forgets about the adult siblings. I actually wish my family would read this and I wish my coworkers would have read this prior to me returning to work after my sister’s death this summer.

By: Robyn

Robyn — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 03:31:49 +0000

God how people REALLY DON'T KNOW until they have lost a sibling.... I'm unsure if any were as close as me n my sis were- she passed 3 years ago but feels like 3 days ago every day. I waited9 days to get her back from autopsy to bury her and in my grief strickened mind I WAS DOING HER HAIR & MAKEUP CUZ I KNEW HOW SHE'D LIKE IT! Why nobody protested me- and why the funeral home allowed me to do so.... I'll never ever know. I was not prepared for what I saw- I truly wasn't....... A huge part of me left with her that day in that funeral parlor..... I've never ever been the same. So...... When I hear someone passing their SIBLINGS are the 1st I think about over the parents almost to be honest. just needed to let that out- sorry

By: Emily Graham

Emily Graham — Sat, 06 Jan 2018 15:53:52 +0000

In reply to a Guy. Sending love to you!

By: a Guy

a Guy — Sat, 06 Jan 2018 05:28:47 +0000

Thanks for this. I’m going through something of this nature, over many moons as cancer slowly claims another victim. I already hate the question “how many siblings do you have?”