Mom, Don’t Embarrass Me!

It is a rite of passage to embarrass your child with the things you do. Even things you think couldn’t possibly cause embarrassment. It doesn’t matter how cool you are (or think you are). You are not! Inevitably you hear them say, “Mom, don’t embarrass me!” If they don’t say it, you will feel it.

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I don’t remember feeling that way until my teen years. It was the first time I was having a new friend over. At the time, we lived in an apartment. I shared a bedroom with my younger sister. Two strikes in my mind. I just knew that she wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore because we didn’t live in a house like hers. I kept telling my sister to help me clean up because I didn’t want to be embarrassed by a messy house. Looking back, our house wasn’t really that messy. I can’t believe that I thought someone wouldn’t like me because we had a little clutter. Though I’m not sure I’ve ever completely gotten over that feeling.

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For every child, the concern for embarrassment is different. My husband and I always said we would do our best not to embarrass our kids. I thought we were doing a pretty good job. That is until Melia (4) had her BFF over yesterday. We’ve had play dates with her before. However, this was the first time she was coming to our house after school.

We were getting ready for school. Melia said to me, “Mom, whatever you do please don’t make beans or peas for dinner.” Her tone said it all. Somehow I just knew she thought she would die of embarrassment. Luckily, her friend didn’t have to suffer through eating any of my cooking. I get it, I’m not the best cook. However, I don’t know where beans and peas came from?! I guess I will put those at the top of my list of things to remember for the future.

It got me thinking about how young she is to start feeling embarrassed by things we do at home. I really didn’t think it would start until she was at least a teenager, like I was. We hadn’t hit anything like this with Cameron. He was 7, so not yet a teen. We used to tell him that someday he would probably be embarrassed by us. However, he swore that he would always give us hugs and kisses. Even if we dropped him off at school and he was in high school. He would never feel embarrassed. I loved that he couldn’t believe he would ever feel that way.

I remember my sister telling me that my niece was embarrassed by her choice of clothes. Ava was in Kindergarten at the time. One morning before school, Ava asked her not to wear her yoga pants to school anymore for pick up or drop off. God forbid someone might see her! We laughed because it wasn’t like they were clothes she rolled out of bed wearing. She looked presentable. Normal even. Just like every other Mom dropping off their kids. It didn’t matter. To Ava, seeing her Mom wear yoga pants made her want to die of embarrassment.

While this is a normal part of growing up, I’m afraid our kids are growing up faster than they should. What about our society is causing that to happen?

We use a lot of humor in our house so we just laugh these things off. They get written down too. Someday when she has kids, these will be the Melia stories I share. There are a lot of them!! I’m sure the next time her friend comes over, she will have something else that will top her list of embarrassing things. Likely the beans and peas will be completely gone from her mind.

What do you do that embarrasses your kids? How do you handle it?

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