Lately I’ve had a lot of moments where I feel like I’m a failure. Maybe failure is too strong a word. More like moments of extreme stress and frustration. It has made me feel like I’m struggling to keep up. Unable to get anything done. Swirling in a chaos I can’t control. Feeling like a failure.

We all know the holidays are the worst when it comes to stress. There are just too many things on our “to do” list to manage. Decorating, shopping, baking, mailing packages, Christmas cards, and family gatherings. Work parties. Friends. It can be a lot to fit into the calendar, which escalates the stress of normal life.

The last couple of days I came to a realization. These feelings of failure are self inflicted! I needed to take a step back for my own sanity purposes. Here is the clarity I gained.

I am not a failure! I just needed to reset my expectations. Figure out how to stop the insanity.

How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure:

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Perfection is unattainable. The pressure you are feeling is only coming from yourself. No one else. So just stop. Seems impossible, right?!
2.  Reset your expectations! I realized that when I let up on my expectations I felt better. Instead of being so frustrated that I couldn’t get things done because my attention was being diverted by the baby, I told myself I would take a time out. Focus on other things and come back to everything else after she was in bed (or down for a nap). Pressure lessened!
3. Engage help from others! This means actually asking for help. Then taking said help. It’s quite a concept! One that is honestly pretty foreign for me (and I’m sure most people). However, it really does work. My husband and daughter can be big helpers when I need them to be.
4. Friends are Important! Everyone NEEDS a friend they can be real with. At least one! Someone they can totally vent to that will commiserate with you. It’s such a release to hear someone else say, “I get it”. Usually they offer to help. You can certainly accept it (see #3) or continue on. Sometimes the venting alone is enough of a release to set you back on track.

I found that once I did these 4 things I immediately started feeling better. Then as I knocked a couple of things (even just small things) off my “to do” list, that feeling of pressure subsided. I no longer felt like a complete failure.

What helps you regain control and stop feeling like you are failing at everything?