I never expected to bond with a woman I never met. The entire idea seems a little crazy. However, if there is one thing I’ve learned on this grief journey it is that nothing is crazy! In the worst moments of your life, you always imagine family and friends will be the ones to lift you up. After all, they know … Read More
Kids Birthday Parties Suck
When your child dies, you understand how much kids birthday parties suck. I’m not necessarily just talking about other people’s kids birthdays. Your own kids birthdays are equally crappy. It is as if someone repeatedly stabs you in the heart all day. Constant reminders of what you had, what you are missing, and what will never be. It is no wonder … Read More
Grief Storms In When You Least Expect It
When you lose a loved one, coping with loss is something you do every day for the rest of your life. It is not a skill you put away and bring back out as you feel grief creep in. It becomes a part of your daily strategy to live. You identify your triggers and ways to deal with them so you … Read More
7 Right Ways To Support A Griever
When the time comes to support a griever, people often don’t think much past the funeral. The few that do likely drop off somewhere after the one year mark. I get it. Death and emotions makes people uncomfortable. It wasn’t your personal life and so your life moves on. Unless you have suffered loss yourself, support will not come naturally. … Read More
When Death Brings Gratitude
Drowning in a sea of overwhelming grief is not where I expected to find gratitude. Yet there it was attempting to throw me a life line. I would have grasped at anything regardless of how out of place it seemed. Gratitude in grief? That is just crazy nonsense! When you lose a child, there is no way to explain the feeling … Read More
The Advice I Wish I Got After My Son Died
When my son died, I received a lot of advice. I found people do not know what to say. They default to the things they have been conditioned to say during these times. It came from many different sources, most of which had never lost a child. The advice came from good intentions, but it was hollow. Not at all … Read More
Share Your Story Of Grief And Loss – Let’s Change The World
Early on people asked, “Why share your story so openly?” The response was always the same. It was cathartic to write it. There is a lot of healing power in sharing. It didn’t take long before I recognized the healing power wasn’t just for me, but for many other moms out there just like me. When you get hit by the … Read More
The Best Grief Definition Is From A Griever
What is grief? According to Webster, the grief definition is “a deep sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death to which a bond or affection was formed”. Grieving is to suffer grief. How can a word so full of emotion be so cold and unfeeling? Webster apparently never lost anyone. I remember standing beside his bed holding his little hand. My body in a … Read More
Bereaved Mothers: The Concept of Strength
There is a quote that says, “The bereaved mother. She has experienced the unimaginable and yet she is still able to walk.” When I see it, I question the definition of strength. There is this notion that because we can get out of bed every day, we are strong. The ability to do the necessities life has demanded means we … Read More
Grief And Loss – What Should Year 2 Look Like?
The first year of grief and loss is typically thought to be the hardest. You learn how to breathe again. You learn how to compartmentalize your life and manage (even mask) your grief. Survival through each milestone, creating a new normal, and learning how to keep going takes all of your energy and focus. So when we hit the first … Read More