Grief requires closure to move forward. What if closure doesn’t exist? What a novel concept? One I hadn’t even considered until I watched Nancy Berns’ TED Talk titled, “Beyond Closure”.
I have said it before and I will say it again. I love TED Talks. Inspiration delivered in 20 minutes or less that changes your entire perception on life. Why should the topic of grief be any different?
When a loved one dies, society tells you that time will heal. That once you find closure in the traumatic events that disrupted your life you will be able to find peace and move forward. So everyone searches for closure. The ever elusive thing that will turn my life right side up again. Set me on a positive path to joy.
Nancy suggests the idea that closure is a made up concept that distorts the grieving process. She even goes so far as to say closure doesn’t exist. You can find healing without it! She then proceeds to demonstrate her truth with a demonstration that describes grieving better than I could ever begin to.
She completely shifted my entire perception of the grieving process. How was this possible after living it for the last year?
She so accurately described the feeling that you need to put all of your feelings and emotions in a box and put it on a shelf. The idea that negative emotions must be left behind and being positive is necessary in society in order to make everyone else around you comfortable. She acknowledged the world’s viewpoint that grief comes to an end.
Then she explained how it was all wrong. Why grievers need to talk about their grief. The paradigm shift came when she showed us that it is possible to carry both joy and grief at the same time. This is in fact what is necessary in order to find healing as the grief never ends.
Joy helps us catch our breath!
It is completely worth the 17:24 minutes!