I’m a lousy mom right now! So it’s probably not true…probably. It sure feels pretty spot on right now though. As I sit here 2-weeks postpartum, I can’t help but feel like I have turned into a horrible mother. At least for my first two kids.
I’m still really sore from my c-section. Alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen all day…trying anyways. In my lingering pregnancy fog, I’m missing lots of doses. I mean come on, I’m not Super Woman! How am I supposed to keep track of a baby eating every 3-4 hours and my meds every 4-6 hours (x2). That just feels like too much math for me.
I’m EXHAUSTED!! It’s really the understatement of the year. I swear I haven’t slept since two nights before my c-section. Believe me it wasn’t well. They tell you to get all the rest you can in the hospital. HA! I had 3 nurses assigned to us (2 for me and 1 for baby). They were each coming into my room (separately) every hour. The bags I have under these eyes…I’ve earned them.
From the time I got home, I just wanted to take the baby and hide away in my bedroom. I imagined waking when she did to feed her and change her. Then the two of us going back to sleep. Literally sleeping my life away. It sounded like heaven. It didn’t happen quite like that. Though I have spent a lot of my time in my room hanging out in bed. Trying to sleep though mostly just resting.
My mom left today. I’m now back to functioning as Mommy for everyone. At least I’m supposed to be. My parenting style these days tends to be from my bed or from the couch. I like to call it “Lazy Parenting”. Hoping the kids just go in the other room and play quietly so I can rest and hold the baby.
No, I can’t get on the floor to help you build your legos. Stop jumping on the bed or running around the living room. Be quiet. Wait until I’m done feeding the baby (said 15 times a day). Yes, go ahead and turn on the tv (and sit in front of it all day long).
It’s OK, I tell myself. This is normal. Soon I will start to feel better. Soon I will figure out how to get back to real life as we used to know it. Soon we will find our rhythm and begin following some sort of schedule. Soon! At least I hope it’s soon.
Somehow I will persevere and break away from the “Lousy Mommy Club”, right?