I often analyze behaviors I see and wonder how people were parented. In most cases, it is because I want to make sure my kids don’t do that. They always say when I’m done with them the rest of the world has to live with them right?
My son and I were in line at Disney World. We were waiting to ride the Mine Train. It was our second time riding it and we were excited even though the line was really long. Behind us were two teenagers. A boy and a girl. I would assume they were 16/17. Definitely friends or cousins.
I couldn’t help but listen to their conversation. I was drawn in because there was so much negativity coming from the boy. All I wanted to do was turn around and smack him. Come on kid…you’re at Disney World. Happiest place on earth!
Normally I would ignore it, but the girl with him was just so positive. I wanted to turn around and applaud her. Every negative thing he said, she turned it around. Most teenagers would just let it go.
How do I make sure my kids end up like girl?
Here’s what I heard:
Boy: God, this line is so long!
Girl: I know it is, but it will be worth it. And it’s moving so it won’t be so bad.
Boy: I’m so tired. I just want to sit down.
Girl: So sit down on the curb or sit on the fence.
Boy: But then the line is going to move and I’m going to have to get up.
Girl: So get up and move and sit back down! It’s not a big deal. We’re not getting out of line now.
Boy: I’m so bored!
Girl: So get your phone out and play your game. You like that. It will pass the time.
Boy: But I need sound to play my game and I don’t have my headphones.
Girl: So just turn it on really low so you can hear it.
Boy: No, I can’t do that.
Girl: Then stop complaining. We’re not getting out of line. We’ve been here too long to leave now. We’re getting so close.
Boy: I’m so hungry! By the time we get back to the hotel everything is going to be closed.
Girl: How do you know everything will be closed. We can find something. Even if it’s just dessert somewhere.
Boy: But I’m too hungry, I don’t want dessert. I want food.
Girl: Isn’t dessert better than nothing?
How does a child learn to see only the negative and complain about everything? My son is 6 and he didn’t complain once!
I think a lot of it has to do with the example that is set at home. How do I react in negative or “unfun” situations (I know that’s not a word…but it works)?
When we entered the line I explained it would be a long line. I also said it was OK because it would be worth it. Then I tried to make it fun for him. We spent our time talking and laughing. He talked about the little games he’d get to play in the line as we got closer and he was excited. Or the people that bailed making our line shorter.
I think the two things our kids constantly hear from us are:
- Appreciate what you get. For example, appreciate that you got 30 minutes of video games versus complaining about not getting an hour.
- You have to do the things you need to do in order to do the things you want to do (even as an adult). Often times we apply that to work. We have to go to work even if we don’t want to sometimes so we can make money and do fun stuff like go get ice cream.
I find myself constantly analyzing my own kids (and myself). Trying to set a positive example. When they start complaining, we call them out just as this girl did. Focusing to make sure they don’t end up like this kid. Making sure they can always see the good in every situation. Make sure the end up like the girl behind us. Her parents did something right!