Dear Newly Bereaved, I remember standing where you are. The world feels different. A vast emptiness closes in around your heart as you wrangle with the idea that your child is no longer a part of this world. Your world, broken. The last image of them burning in your mind because there will be no more. Don’t focus too long on the idea that … Read More
Grief And Loss – What Should Year 2 Look Like?
The first year of grief and loss is typically thought to be the hardest. You learn how to breathe again. You learn how to compartmentalize your life and manage (even mask) your grief. Survival through each milestone, creating a new normal, and learning how to keep going takes all of your energy and focus. So when we hit the first … Read More
21 Things I Learned In Our First Year Of Loss
We have officially survived our first year of loss. I’m not really sure how. It doesn’t seem possible to be standing where we are today. I still wish I would wake up and have it all be a nightmare. Through this journey we have received a lot of advice. Nothing really prepares you. You simply learn to find comfort in … Read More
How Has It Been 4-Months?
Today is the 25th. It is exactly 4-months from one of the worst days of my life. I say “one of” because even though it was the day we were told Cameron wouldn’t make it, the day we had to make the decision to sign a DNR and unplug our son, it still wasn’t as bad as the following day. Waking up, knowing that yesterday was … Read More
What Are Good Days After Losing A Child?
Was today a good day? I was recently asked this question by a friend and it completely threw me for a loop. No one has asked this question quite that way before. How are you? That’s what I’ve gotten used to answering. That’s the question that I now have an automatic response for. I had no idea how to respond this … Read More
It’s Been 3 Months Since You Left
This is a hard post to write. The tears flow freely now, before the first sentence is even written. I expect them. This is one of the few times I allow myself time to fully grieve for you, but you know that. I know you are there watching. 3-months is a long time to not see your face. I try … Read More
Good Days Have Consequences with Grief
I often hear the word strong. They make it sound like I have this amazing strength inside me to keep living. It’s not true. My actions don’t come from a place of strength. They come from a place where no other options exist. Life continues on and if you don’t keep up, you will drown. It’s like the movie Ground … Read More
Our “New” Normal
I hate our new normal. HATE it! I’m told that will never change. Right now I believe them. Don’t get me wrong, none of this changes my love for my husband and the girls. It also doesn’t mean that I won’t continue putting one foot in front of the other and living. The first couple of days were the worst. … Read More