The Line Blurs Between Before And After

child loss

When your child dies, there is this new line of measurement in life. Everything was either before or after. The idea is very black and white. It either is or it isn’t. As time passes complexity creeps in. Maybe it’s grief brain, maybe it’s just me getting old, but that line blurs. We tell stories and reference moments of our … Read More

An Open Letter To Newly Bereaved Parents

Dear Newly Bereaved, I remember standing where you are. The world feels different. A vast emptiness closes in around your heart as you wrangle with the idea that your child is no longer a part of this world. Your world, broken. The last image of them burning in your mind because there will be no more. Don’t focus too long on the idea that … Read More

So This Is Yearning…

child loss

My oldest daughter danced around me oblivious. My youngest daughter plotted her next great attempt at escape while buckled into the cart in front of me. I couldn’t take my eyes off the little boy standing at the register in front of us. He stood between his parents, but I only saw him. I only saw him from behind. He was … Read More

5 Tips To Get Comfortable Around Grief

comfort with grief

Choose your words wisely. A phrase drilled into our minds during childhood in an effort to teach awareness, kindness, and compassion for others. You never know the profound impact your words can have on another person. I never understood how much pressure exists in that lesson until I began walking this path of grief and loss. In the first 24 … Read More

We Don’t Do Sleepovers For This Reason

sleep overs

I didn’t expect to feel this way. It was just a sleepover. Even though we don’t do sleepovers. One and done is how I’m feeling now. I guess I should have expected it. For some stupid reason I tend to miss simple grief triggers until they are staring me in the face. Maybe it’s better this way? Less anticipation so … Read More

The Day I Forgot My Son Died

grief amnesia

It was the day of his memorial. It sounds funny, but I remember it clearly because it’s the only day our house was full. Some of our family had started to trickle in so the sound of conversation hummed around me. I stood at my kitchen sink absentmindedly rinsing some dishes when my oldest daughter came bursting through the kitchen chasing … Read More

Hello Grief, I Remember You Well

managing grief after loss

I don’t believe in coincidence. It is something I openly make known. All coincidence has meaning. The synchronicity of the universe is beautiful if you just open yourself up to see it. There lies all the proof you need that our loved ones continue on the other side. Lately life has been all consuming. I had 4 different freelance projects … Read More

When Talking About Child Loss Is Uncomfortable

death of a child

When you lose a child, you have a list of questions you hope to avoid. It doesn’t take long before you get good at anticipating when they will show up. On top of that list is usually, “How many kids do you have?” Meeting new people brings it out all the time, which is why my stomach is usually in … Read More

The Biggest Lie People Tell About Grief

grief lies

I have this theory. Grief makes people lie. The idea isn’t that far fetched. We learn early in grief how to mask our pain. We craft well thought out responses to common questions. Choosing who we let in and when. Learning how to make the world think we are OK. Lying is like breathing. We get so good at it that it just begins to happen … Read More

Grieving In Silence

grief and loss

There is this funk that exists. It has been here a few weeks now. I say “been” like it’s gone, but it never seems to be very far away. I don’t know what sets it off so the control freak in me gets twitchy. Searching. Trying to figure out how to manage it. I’m not willing to believe what I already … Read More