My Favorite Color Is Blue. Sometimes. (Grief Book Review)

I will never forget the drive home from the hospital that day. Reaching our destination meant telling our (then) 4-year old daughter her big brother would never be coming home. On Christmas morning no less. My mind raced for the right words. Those words don’t exist.

The days that followed were a blur. I can only imagine how difficult they were for her to comprehend. She and I had so many conversations. How do you explain the complexities of life to a child? It’s near impossible when still trying to wrap your own brain around it.

We weren’t prepared with books. There wasn’t time to research. So, we winged it. Overall, it went well. Yet, since that day I find myself looking for additional ways to generate conversation on her level.

My Favorite Color is Blue. Sometimes. did just that.

Using art and color, the book illustrates the complex emotions found in grief. After reading the first two pages, I stopped and asked what the book was about. She paused quietly and responded, “Cameron”.

Here are a few of the passages that spoke to our hearts:

  • Purple remembers. I remember your eyes, your laughter. I remember so many things about you.
  • You are a shooting star. Your light trails across the heavens. I blinked and you were gone.
  • Brown is the old penny I found on the sidewalk.

To get your own copy: My Favorite Color is Blue. Sometimes.

Author Bio: Artist and author Roger Hutchison is the Director of Christian Formation and Parish Life at Palmer Memorial Episcopal Church in Houston, Texas. His first book, The Painting Table: A Journal of Loss and Joy, has been used by people of all ages in schools, churches, and community groups across the United States. Roger’s second book, Under the Fig Tree: Visual Prayers and Poems for Lent (2015) has been released to rave reviews. He had the privilege of painting with children who had witnessed the tragic shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, CT. The experience affected him profoundly and convinced him of a vocation to use his writing and art to serve those who grieve.

3 Comments on “My Favorite Color Is Blue. Sometimes. (Grief Book Review)”

  1. I have been reading through your blog for most of the afternoon, constantly close to tears. I lost my only sister a few months ago due to a car crash. Your articles about the forgotten grievers especially resonated with me, as such a loss wreaks havoc on even the happiest of family dynamics and I constantly feel so alone in this journey.
    I’ll be honest with you – when I read about the signs your son sent you I often thought this is just a grieving mother seeing what she wants to see. (Sorry) But a big part of me craves such interaction from my sister so much that I half-halfheartedly asked her for my “purple elephant”. The next blog entry I opened was this one. I’m a designer and artist and it just grabbed my attention. When I opened the link to the book I noticed with shock the date next to the name:
    My Favorite Color is Blue. Sometimes.: A Journey Through Loss with Art and Color Paperback – November 7, 2017 – THE DAY SHE DIED! I’m not sure whether that was the publishing date but can it really be a coincidence?
    “When I think of you I see yellow” – the color of the flowers at her funeral because she was the sunshine in so many people’s lives.
    I will be ordering a copy for myself and her baby girl, who will unfortunately (probably) not even remember her wonderful mommy.
    Thank you for opening me up to these signs. And maybe they are just coincidence? So what? If it makes me feel closer to her why not?
    Thank you for your raw honesty and not trying to give advise because there is none – just sharing your feelings and making us all realize that what we are feeling is normal is invaluable to so many people, I’m sure.
    LOVE & LIGHT

    1. This grief journey is a lonely, solo journey…even if you have a ton of people around you or trying to help. That’s just the nature of grief and loss. I always say it’s just between me and my son…like yours is between you and your sister. It’s about the personal relationship you had with her. As for the signs, I completely understand your comment “it’s just a grieving mother seeing what she wants to see”. That is completely natural and unless someone has experienced it they may not understand it. That’s OK. You are already on a spiritual journey. Trying to decide what you even believe happens when we die. Are they still there? Can they communicate? Is there anything there? I am confident there is and my son is still here. I love that you are opening up to the idea. My husband struggled with this as well. It’s taken 2 years and he is just now starting to see those “coincidences” and questioning. You’re right…who cares if they are coincidences if it allows you to feel closer to her and continue your relationship with her. Much love on your journey!

  2. I’m so grateful I found your blog. I lost my 7 year old stepson earlier this month. I hate that anyone else has ever had to feel this way, but it does make me feel like I’m not alone. It’s been shock for the last few weeks, but reality sets in little by little. My son is 4, and is missing his brother like crazy. I didn’t think my heart could break anymore until I’ve watched him struggling as he begins to understand more and more. I will get him this book, and look forward to more of your posts. I’m sure it’s not easy to put your feelings out there, but right now it means the world to me to see this.

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