We Don’t Do Sleepovers For This Reason

sleep overs

I didn’t expect to feel this way. It was just a sleepover. Even though we don’t do sleepovers. One and done is how I’m feeling now. I guess I should have expected it. For some stupid reason I tend to miss simple grief triggers until they are staring me in the face. Maybe it’s better this way? Less anticipation so … Read More

The Day I Forgot My Son Died

grief amnesia

It was the day of his memorial. It sounds funny, but I remember it clearly because it’s the only day our house was full. Some of our family had started to trickle in so the sound of conversation hummed around me. I stood at my kitchen sink absentmindedly rinsing some dishes when my oldest daughter came bursting through the kitchen chasing … Read More

Hello Grief, I Remember You Well

managing grief after loss

I don’t believe in coincidence. It is something I openly make known. All coincidence has meaning. The synchronicity of the universe is beautiful if you just open yourself up to see it. There lies all the proof you need that our loved ones continue on the other side. Lately life has been all consuming. I had 4 different freelance projects … Read More

When Talking About Child Loss Is Uncomfortable

death of a child

When you lose a child, you have a list of questions you hope to avoid. It doesn’t take long before you get good at anticipating when they will show up. On top of that list is usually, “How many kids do you have?” Meeting new people brings it out all the time, which is why my stomach is usually in … Read More

The Biggest Lie People Tell About Grief

grief lies

I have this theory. Grief makes people lie. The idea isn’t that far fetched. We learn early in grief how to mask our pain. We craft well thought out responses to common questions. Choosing who we let in and when. Learning how to make the world think we are OK. Lying is like breathing. We get so good at it that it just begins to happen … Read More

Grieving In Silence

grief and loss

There is this funk that exists. It has been here a few weeks now. I say “been” like it’s gone, but it never seems to be very far away. I don’t know what sets it off so the control freak in me gets twitchy. Searching. Trying to figure out how to manage it. I’m not willing to believe what I already … Read More

How Grief Broke My Coping Mechanism

There are things in life that make you uncomfortable. Things you really would rather avoid and not participate in. Unfortunately, opting out is not always an option. So as early as high school, I had developed my own coping mechanism. Just a simple distraction for my mind. The whole idea is based on the fact that no matter what I … Read More

Grief Storms In When You Least Expect It

coping with loss

When you lose a loved one, coping with loss is something you do every day for the rest of your life. It is not a skill you put away and bring back out as you feel grief creep in. It becomes a part of your daily strategy to live. You identify your triggers and ways to deal with them so you … Read More

7 Right Ways To Support A Griever

help

When the time comes to support a griever, people often don’t think much past the funeral. The few that do likely drop off somewhere after the one year mark. I get it. Death and emotions makes people uncomfortable. It wasn’t your personal life and so your life moves on. Unless you have suffered loss yourself, support will not come naturally. … Read More

When Death Brings Gratitude

healing grief

Drowning in a sea of overwhelming grief is not where I expected to find gratitude. Yet there it was attempting to throw me a life line. I would have grasped at anything regardless of how out of place it seemed. Gratitude in grief? That is just crazy nonsense! When you lose a child, there is no way to explain the feeling … Read More