As we exit the store, my eyes begin constantly scanning. I’m looking for cars driving by. Reverse lights coming on as someone prepares to back out of a parking space. People lingering. Who am I parked beside? Is there anyone sitting in the car? Trying to anticipate everything.

My daughter walks beside me. She pauses to look both ways as we exit the store. I’m not always convinced she really knows how to make the decision to cross. Yet she goes through the motions. As we cross, her feet begin to skip and do a little dance. She leaps onto the curb on the other side and balances her way around the corner before jumping off and doing a twirl.

As we make our way down the aisle we parked in, she’s oblivious to the cars and people around her. I call her closer and remind her we are in a parking lot. She needs to watch for cars. Her selective hearing kicks in because she slows to walk beside the cart. Yet she isn’t really watching for anything. She slows so much she’s a few paces behind me now back to twirling and dancing.

As we reach the car, I begin to unload the bags into the back. She’s now standing at her door pretending she can’t open it. As I close the back, she is finally climbing into the car. While I put the baby in her seat and buckle her in, the other door is wide open.

In my mind, the parking lot can be a scary place. If you’ve watched the news at all in the last 10 years, you will understand why. While I am constantly trying to stay on alert, my kids provide a wild distraction. Listening skills seem to fade when we hit the pavement. I realize all of my warnings fade into the breeze.

While I don’t want to scare the jeepers out of her. I do want her to understand there are certain times and places that she needs to be more aware. That she needs to pay attention and do as I ask.

We were in need of a safe word. A word that when heard, means something. Inspires a planned action. Something we have discussed so that in the moment there isn’t a game of 20-questions. A word that when said, doesn’t throw up alarms to anyone else as it seems casual.

This safe word would be used when there are people loitering nearby. When there is someone sitting in the car beside the door she uses to enter or exit the car. A word that reminds her to pay attention, hurry along, and don’t ask questions. To get in the car and immediately close her door and lock it. A word that creates a safer environment.

It is my hope that we never have to use this word. Yet, I feel better knowing it exists.

Does your family have a safe word like this?