My daughter, like most 4 year old girls, loves princesses! She likes to dress like them, talk about them, have anything she sees with one on it. Even wants to be one when she grows up (good luck Melia – so does Mommy).
Her favorite pretend game is to pretend to be princesses. It’s not so much a game as let’s talk about which princess we want to be and then start all over again and be someone new. It goes like this:
Melia: Mommy, which princess do you want to be?
Me: I don’t know, maybe I’ll be Sleeping Beauty because I’m tired and I want to take a nap.
Melia: Ok, you be Sleeping Beauty. I will be Ariel because I like mermaids.
From this point it’s usually Melia doing a lot of talking and telling me what to say as the two princesses interact. After about a minute…repeat! This time you have to pick a new princess. It’s not that difficult. She likes to play it…a lot!
The other day we were in the car. Of course she wanted to play “What princess do you want to be”. It was the third time we had played that day. I really didn’t want to be a princess at that moment (imagine that). It was just the two of us in the car so I had to try and play along.
Melia: Mommy, which princess do you want to be?
Me: I don’t know. Tell me who you think I should be.
I wasn’t expecting this, but I loved her response!
Melia (in her scolding mom voice): Mom, I can’t tell you who to be. No one can tell you. You just have to think for yourself.
I know this was just a silly princess game. Yet, I knew in that moment that this was something Melia applied to her life. Think for yourself. Make your own decisions. Don’t let others tell you what to do.
If you know my daughter, that last sentence scares the crap out of you! She certainly doesn’t want anyone telling her what to do. For a parent, this is challenging. But I know this will also be a trait that will make me proud.
It’s important to find ways to build a child’s confidence in having their own thoughts and opinions. Let them express their feelings (she has a lot of them). Make them feel heard and understood. When they see that we value those things, it builds their confidence to continue sharing and feel good doing so.
Make sure you set the example, even when you are just playing “Which princess do you want to be?” Certainly don’t make the mistake of trying to let your 4 year old be your voice. However, do let her be her own voice.