Hope In The Form Of My Dead Son’s Shadow

From the corner of my eye, a shadow of movement streaked across the balcony. I looked up, half expecting to see one of my kids playing, but the balcony was empty. No one there.

I turned my attention back to the sink full of dirty dishes and continued scrubbing. A few moments passed. There it was again!

My eyes averted up and quickly scanned the entire length of the balcony, but nothing had changed. What was that? Am I going crazy?

By this time, I started questioning my sanity. My mind started saying, “I swear I’m seeing Cameron. It’s like he’s running from one end to the other and slipping behind the wall to hide as I look up.” But, my son died last month. That’s not even possible! Or is it?

A few days passed. Again, I found myself standing at the kitchen sink. This time the shadow drew my attention to the other side of the room. Standing directly in front of his urn was the full figure shadow of my son. His exact size and shape.

I gasped. My hands grabbed the edge of the counter to steady my balance. Almost as quickly as I saw it, the shadow vanished into mist. It was gone. I had no idea what was going on, but my mind was reeling. That was Cameron!

While there was no doubt in my mind, I didn’t tell a single soul. I knew how crazy it sounded. People would assume I was a grieving mother who would do anything to connect to her son, her mind must be playing tricks. I had moments I started to believe it myself.

Then, validation came!

My husband and I went to our first medium. He jumped through hoops so she wouldn’t know our identities prior to the reading or have any opportunity to research us ahead of time.

Going into the appointment, I was nervous. My brain was a jumbled mess. I always believed before. However, this visit would make or break everything I believed in. I needed it all to be real. To know Cameron was still around us.

Having seen his shadow was somehow so far from my mind. When she brought it up, even I was shocked. She said, “You’ve been seeing shadows.”

My husband skeptically replied with a no while my jaw hit the floor and I said, “Yes… I have.” His head snapped in my direction, bewildered at my response, “You have?”

Before I could respond, she said, “Those shadows you see are your son. He loves to run now that he is free of the restrictions we have here on earth. He can run so much faster and loves running through your house.”

I just smiled. I knew it.

He was sending me a clear message he is still here. While his physical body is gone, he is very much present. Life goes on after death.

My son sends me many signs. It was more than a year later when I saw him again. This time his shadow raced past my bathroom door. When I saw it, there was no doubt in my mind it was him. I knew he was running. I just knew.

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7 Comments on “Hope In The Form Of My Dead Son’s Shadow”

  1. Beautiful story.It has been 12 weeks since I lost my Grandson Garrett. He lived courageously with Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy for almost 21 years But was stable. Then he died suddenly from massive strokes from a disease he never had symptoms from. The grief is unbearable. I was his Mema and Caretaker. He was smart and so wise and kind. How I miss him every minute of the day. Our days were filled with love, conversations, his Gaming , Drs , Teachers and Therapist. Friends and family. Jannis His Mema Forever

  2. I had to tell you this…I’m NOT a member of the child-loss club, I’m an 18-year old autistic girl who is largely dependent on her family – and I also have severe depression. I found your website by random Googling while I was having suicidal thoughts – I’m sure I wasn’t going to act on them right then, but the thoughts were very strong – and ended up reading a bunch of posts…Seeing the reality of what it’s like to lose a child in such excruciating detail, and imagining my (beloved) mother going through that – it just knocked those thoughts right out of me. I know the effect won’t be permanent, because mental illness doesn’t just go away in one moment, but I am going to keep everything I just read close to my heart. I’m very anxious about opening up like this, and I’m afraid I’ll say something wrong – but you were the one who said that that’s a risk you need to take, and you talk about putting your stories out there. I feel like I need to tell you the good you’ve done by speaking out. Thank you.

    1. I just want you to know you are loved beyond measure. Don’t listen to those thoughts when they enter your mind… those thoughts tell you lies. There is value in being vulnerable enough to share your truth. Sending lots of love your way.

  3. My son passed away in 2015 as well. He passed away 24 days after his 8th birthday after an 8 month battle with brain cancer. Next month marks 3 years he’s been gone. Thank you for sharing. I also blog about him, his life, his death and my life after child loss. In the beginning, it was such a healthy outlet to express my grief, but I slowly trickled off from blogging, but reading yours just now reminded me of why it’s a passion of mine and why I made my blog to begin with. To not only help others, but myself as well. You are more than welcome to read through my journey since losing him. Maybe my words can bring comfort to you somehow, in the knowing that my pain is simply a reflection of yours.
    Take care. Xo
    -Chynna Stephenson
    http://www.rememberingrylanblog.wordpress.com

  4. Sept23 2016 i lost my son im sitting with the anticipation of his time of death. 203 am est. Im in panic. I cant focus not caring of the world around me. I cant stop the tears. My breathe is suffocated. I hate the person i am. I was focised happy giving and caring for my family i feel as though i have nothing i dont know how to redirect myself. Isolation is my new normal. Socializing is not a luxury want or need. The tv has not been on since that day. The radio has not been played. I care for nothing. I dont know how to live without my son. Forever 23 Logan Ray Trent.

  5. Hi my son died on the 16.2 this year i saw his astral body standing at the side of me and long to see it again xx its beautiful what you are doing here xx

  6. I was moved by your words, finding a place to rest in grief finding what happens to parents when they are faced with death of a child, is that place I so need to find to hear to know that I am not a lone in my own grief. Needing to know I am real that someone can hear me my story the love that backs up inside of me, waiting to be heard!
    Thank you

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