Communication After Death – My Signs from Cameron

Ever since Cameron died, my belief in communication after death has been confirmed. This is the story of how it all started. It is every parent’s worst nightmare to lose a child. I remember being angry at myself for even letting the thought cross my mind. It was unimaginable. Luckily this didn’t happen to people like us so I had nothing to worry about…until I did. By the time I let myself believe it was a possible outcome that night, it already was the outcome. He was too far gone. No longer did I have to imagine what it would be like. I was standing in it. Sinking in it. Drowning in the idea that it was over. Forever.

Forever is not a concept easily understood. It wasn’t until a few days after Cameron died that I started to feel forever. It’s the most lonely place that exists. How is it possible to be standing in a room full of people and feel so desperately alone? I’ve been there. When you feel that type of loss, crying takes on new meaning. Gasping for air, clutching your chest, tears streaming uncontrollably.

This type of loss tests your beliefs. It takes you to dark places. It makes you hope for your own death. Maybe not right this moment or take your own life kind of death, but you feel thankful for your own mortality. It was the first time I have ever wanted to die young…hoping that longevity gene skipped me.

communication after death

For a while I have debated sharing this post. First of all, it is a very personal topic. One that, up until this point, I have only shared with a handful of people. Second, it borders on the highly controversial topic of religion. While I was raised in the church, that is not my belief system. I mention it because for most this goes hand-in-hand. However, for me this has nothing to do with religion. This simply validates my own personal beliefs regarding life after death. I’m sharing it to give other people hope. This is one of the ways I know Cameron is still here.

The first 2-months after Cameron’s death I had a series of realizations. These came to me slowly so it took some time to put it together. Let me put them in order for you.

  1. I will forever carry a lot of guilt surrounding Cameron’s death. Even though I didn’t play a role and there wasn’t really anything I could have done to prevent it (unless I could see the future), that guilt remains. My first focus was on the fact that maybe if we hadn’t moved here in 2012 he wouldn’t have been exposed to whatever it was that ultimately killed him.
  2. My first blog about losing Cameron went viral. Over the course of a 1-2 week period, I was overwhelmed with comments, emails, Facebook messages. So many people I didn’t know that wanted to share their story or tell me how moved they were by our story. It is such a small world that one of those people happened to be in PICU with us that night. Their child was in the hospital. She gave the room number. Mentioned that they all knew a child had died that night, but they didn’t know the circumstances. It made me question what room number we were in. I’m not sure why it mattered, but I was curious enough to find out. We ended up being right next door to this woman and her child. We were in room 2012.
  3. A few days later, I was going through all of our old photos and videos. I was working to create a folder of all the photos and videos of Cameron and Melia (4) together. I wanted an easy way for us to look at these with her without going through everything else to dig for them. I came upon Cameron’s old flag football pictures. He looked so cute in his #12 jersey.
  4. It was with this last example that I started to really think about it. He died in December (12). He died just after midnight (12).
  5. A few days later, I realized that the number above the door to his classroom was 112.

Do you see the theme? I hadn’t told anyone. I kept wondering if maybe this would be a way Cameron would communicate with me. It wasn’t until the following week when my Mom was here to visit that it became clear. We went into this little diner for lunch. The woman at the front seated us at a table in the corner. As we sat down, the table number literally fell out of the holder and flopped onto the table. Table 12. Without realizing it I said, “Oh my god, it’s 12”.

I’m pretty sure my Mom thought I was going crazy. She wondered why I had that reaction so I walked her through all the 12’s. I told her that I feel like this is a number Cameron will use to communicate with me.

coincidence

A couple of weeks went by. No new 12’s. Though I was watching. Then it happened.

Melia and I planned to go to a local festival/carnival. We had never been to this one before. Doing fun things like this is really tough. There is a constant reminder of the things we did when he was still here. A sadness of making memories without him. I know how important it is to try and keep some of this stuff going for Melia. So I had decided that I would take her. Just the two of us. An attempt at normal (at least externally).

We had to park in lots that were pretty far from the actual festival. They were bussing people in. So we climbed on board the school bus. Melia led the way. It was her first time riding a bus (something Cameron always wanted to do). She picked out a seat and we sat down. As the bus started driving, I overheard a mother and son nearby. He was telling her to “look back there” while he was pointing out the seat he sits in for school. They noted the seat number. It made me look up to see where we were. Imagine my surprise to see we were sitting in seat 12. It made me smile.

A couple of weeks ago, I took Melia to see the movie Zootopia. We hadn’t been to see a movie in a long time. Cameron had been begging to go see a movie his last month here. With the holidays, we just didn’t get a chance to fit it in. Melia had recently asked. Again, it was an attempt at something normal (externally).

The last commercial they showed, just before the movie started, I saw it! There was a little boy with his back to the camera. It centered in on him. He was wearing a baseball jersey with the number 12 on the back. Crazy!

communication after death

The number 12 has become a way for Cameron to communicate. It is his way of saying he is there. He knows what we are doing, and it makes him happy to see us having fun. It’s like his way of sending us a hug and a smile. It doesn’t make it easier. In no way does it compare to the real thing, but it’s the best we can get so I will take it.

I have always believed in communication after death. There are signs all around us. It wasn’t until Cameron died that I felt I had a reason to tune in and listen. To me, it’s proof that he is still there. There is life after death. I very much look forward to our reunion.

Do you believe in signs?

Additional Posts Related To Signs From Cameron:

  1. Cameron’s Orange Moon – Signs From Heaven
  2. How Minnie Mouse Delivered A Message From Heaven
  3. Healing Grief With Medium Readings

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18 Comments on “Communication After Death – My Signs from Cameron”

  1. Emily, I don’t know if you remember me but I used to be Delly Brown. My mother was Debbie (Hutchison) West. I think my mom and grandmother may have babysat you and a boy named Greg Scesney at some point. We lost my mother last February to a heart attack following a car accident and over the past 15 months I have also seen signs. “Pennies from Heaven” she used to call them. So yes, I believe in the communication. Whether it is really there or just our minds, it makes us feel a sliver better for a split second and that is all that is important! Hugs

    1. Hi Delly. I do remember you. My Aunt Susan was friends with your mom. I believe there were several occasions where we all played together. Sad to hear of her passing. We have many signs from Cameron. I have always considered myself very aware so it was nice to have confirmation of those beliefs after Cameron died. It is definitely a comfort. Thanks for reading!

  2. Hi Emily,
    I am so very sorry for your loss. I admire you for posting this. I agree with you and hope it continues to brings you peace at times that seem unbearable…
    Hugs,
    Jaime Bennett

  3. Such a beautiful touching story. I had a miscarriage January of 2015 and went through a hard time with the fact that I would never meet my child. In September of 2015 days away from what would have been my due date I found out I was pregnant again. It was very hard at first thinking I should be meeting my baby now not having a new one but then my husband said something to me…he said ‘souls do not die. Something wasn’t working out with our childs body so God took it back and gave them a new one’ That made me feel a lot better knowing that technically my baby was born in September she was just born inside of me. There is always something happening that we don’t quite understand until we truly open our eyes to see it and I’m so glad you were able to find some peace.

    1. What a beautiful story! Congratulations on your pregnancy. There is no way that timing is not meant to be. Best of luck.

  4. Hi Emily,
    I am a friend of Morgan’s and she is the one who told me about your blog. My grandpa passed away almost 2 years ago. He was in room 111. not long after, my mom started seeing a lot of signs as well coming from the number 1.
    I would like to thank you for sharing your story. I am looking forward to sharing this blog with her.

    1. Hey Ashley, Thanks for reading and sharing. I’m a big believer in signs. Always have been. It takes someone really close to you passing though to validate those beliefs that it is real. Cameron has done that for me. Sounds like your Grandfather is doing the same. ? Emily

  5. Emily,
    I see ladybugs~usually just one in places you would not expect them to be and I know my older sister is with me or around~ she collected ladybugs. yes , there are signs~ sending you healing energy~ Barbara

    1. I love that!! I’ve heard lady bugs are a common sign. That and butterflies. I think that’s why I think of Cameron when I see butterflies. For whatever reason this last year we have had a ton of them all around our house. I’ve never noticed so many before, and they stayed much longer than I would have expected. Even through December I would still see an occasional one (we live in Florida so it’s still pretty warm). Hugs to you!

  6. Hi Emily,
    Very touched by your blog and the signs you have received. I lost my 4 year old Rex this last March in a tragic accident at our truck shop in which my husband was unfortunately behind the wheel and my 5 year old witnessed. I was 20 weeks along at the time of the accident and we are patiently awaiting baby girls arrival. Thank you for your strength to tell us your story. I search every night for stories like yours and they give me hope that I can get through this, someway somehow. I often wonder why we as mothers have to endure such pain and heartache. I hope and pray for signs daily, haven’t had anything definitive but I am hopeful that someday I will. I tell myself that that he’s just having too much fun in heaven to send me anything. Thank you again.

    1. I know Rex is still around you. I’ve heard grief can sometimes block our ability to see the signs. My husband was a huge skeptic! He has since started to come around. I’ve convinced him to “play a game” with our son. Ask for a specific sign (something obscure, random). Don’t tell anyone what it is. Just watch for it. He will send it! It may take time, so be patient. This is how my husband now gets his signs. The one thing that helped me was visiting a medium. She told me about signs I had seen that I hadn’t even told anyone about… it helped me tune in and validated what I was seeing. Hope this helps. Sending lots of love your way!

  7. Your story made me cry. I’m so, so sorry that it happened to you, to him. I wish i could hug you. And yes, I believe in signs after death.

  8. Dear Emily and the other parents who have lost their precious children, there are no words that I can offer that bring the comfort that you or any parent in your situation needs. I can only say how touch and sad I felt to read your stories. Our children are so precious to us; losing them is truly unimaginable. I can only imagine the depth of your sorrow. My heart goes out to all of you.

  9. Hi Emily! I lost my 29 year old daughter four years ago. She was a wonderfully weird young lady who claimed 13 was her lucky number. She sends me 13’s all the time now, especially when there’s something going on that she thinks is really important! Thank you for validating my thoughts on signs sent from our loved ones who have passed! God Bless!

  10. Hi Emily, I believe also that there is some kind of life after death. We lost our 3rd child at 23wks 6days gestation had I not gone into labour for another 12 hrs they could have given me medication to slow or stop labour and given steroids to develop her lungs so she could breath when she was born. She was instead born on my birthday and classed as a miscarriage not still birth or even a baby. She was nearly 2lb in weight and the hospital did nothing to save her. I watched her little heart beat fade while they assured me it was just a reflex and covered her chest. I decided to not take her body home as I felt she had already gone and thought it would be hard for my 2 year old and 4 year old to understand. I found it hard after and could think of a million things I should of said to the doctor’s while I was in slow labour and felt guilty for leaving her body at the hospital. It felt to me I had abandoned her by leaving her at the hospital.
    I fell pregnant a fourth time and the pregnancy went well and as I had had my 1st and 2nd children at home decided this was the right option. The day came but this time the baby was not in the right position and wouldn’t move, my midwife wasn’t taking any chances although he was not stressed or in danger, much to my dread she announced we were going into hospital. I was terrified as the only experience I had had was lossing a baby in there but I also knew I needed to trust her so we went into hospital as a emergency. As they wheeled the bed into a room at the hospital I glanced at the door and realized that it was the same room my little poppy had been born in just less than a year earlier. I panicked a little but then I felt like she was with me again and wanted to help. Just a few minutes later my little boy moved and was born health into that same room. I went home with him that same night . I didn’t just take one baby home that night the baby I had lost Poppy came home too. I could feel her presence as we walk out of the hospital and when we arrived home she was there. I haven’t thought about the hospital and her been left there since.
    So I know exactly what you mean and although many may say it’s in my head, my husband has said the same thing without me saying a word. The next day after we arrived home he turned to me and said “we brought them both home” I was shocked as I hadn’t wanted to mention Poppy as i didn’t want to dampen the moment. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss her although it seems odd as I never got to know her. I can not imagine what you must have gone through and still do, but I know the signs you talk of are real and your little angel will watch over his family until you are all together again.

  11. Hi Emily just sat here reading your story in tears as your story is almost identical to our boys who was 13 we recently lost him still not knowing why he isn’t with us anymore Christmas isn’t far away we have other children I don’t know how were going to get through it without him it was his favourite time of year thank you for sharing your story

  12. Emily, your story has touched me so deeply.

    We lost my dad in 2012. He always had a thing for the number 12 as his mom was born on Dec. 12, 1912 at 12:12.

    I see that number all the time and know he is close by just as your sweet Cameron is close to you.

    Sending you the biggest tightest hug.

    Trish

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